WELL MY DEAR THAT WAS THE EASY PART. Maybe not to you but just wait. Not only have you made her the happiest girl in the world but also, you have thrown the first pitch of one of the biggest games in your life. So who’s on first? Well let’s start with this... she’s the coach so listen carefully! We can give you some hints and tips to get you through.

BEGINNING WITH THE DRAFT

“To succeed you have to work as a team. Each player must cover his or her own position.” You have two teams now, hers and yours. (Eventually the plan is to be on the same winning team.) Whether you look at that as her family and your family or your groomsmen and her bridesmaids. They all need to become your supporters and cheering squad. You can not choose your family but you can choose your starting lineup now that could be a combination of family and friends, whoever it is make sure they work well under pressure.

In order to work as a team they need to meet. So start with the parents if they have not met. Then give serious thought to the rest of the team. Since you threw the first pitch you need a good catcher. Since the pitcher and the catcher are the two players who participate in every play, this person needs to be responsible and willing to be there for every play of the game. Your best man will be your catcher. Consult your bride and decide on the number of attendants that you would like to have before asking them. This could help you avoid errors.

OPENING CEREMONIES

Announcing your engagement should be your next step, whether this is to your parents first and then formally to friends and entire family. This is a chance to get the team together for the first press conference. The engagement party is normally given by both sets of parents. Be prepared for a lot of questions. When, where, what   color, etc.

STRATEGIC PLANNING

“Good strategy can make a difference between winning and losing,” Once the two of you have chosen a date, first and foremost, you have to try and set a budget. This is often best accomplished by working with ALL the members of the family (this budget planning and working with the families has been known to separate the men from the boys).

BUDGET

A few rules of the game on budgeting

• 50% for the Reception                    
• 10% for Wedding Attire
• 6% for extras
• 10% for Music
• 10% for Photography
• 10% for Flowers
• 4% for Stationary 

YOUR FANS AND SUPPORTERS - THE GUEST LIST

It is always a good idea to start on the guest list as early as possible. Both sets of parents, you and your bride will want to be involved. Once you have a handle on your budget you must decide on a location for the wedding and reception, this may help you determine your number of guests invited or vice versa your guest list may determine your venue. Most likely your budget will determine the final guest number. Just do the math. If 50% of your budget is $5,000.00 then you divide that by the number of guests you want to invite and that is what you can afford to pay per person for your reception. This should include rental of the location, catering, beverages, music, and cake. Remember this number needs to include your taxes and service fees. Keep in mind about 20% of the guests invited may not be able to attend. Does this mean you can invite 20% more than you can afford? No, just keep in mind when you make out that guest list that some may not be able to attend so book your location or catering for lower than you are planning for to begin with and make sure that you can increase before the date of your wedding without penalty. That way you can avoid paying more than you have to. Send out RSVP (French for please respond) cards in order to have an accurate account of attending guests. RSVP due date should be before your catering number is due.

GAME PLAN

So what’s your game plan or your responsibilities as the groom? Help with the guest list and all major decisions, date, budget, venue and honeymoon. To insure yourself a grand slam ask what your bride would like help with in the very beginning. If she gives you specific duties make sure you do them in a timely manner. Most often the groom is given these responsibilities: Being a liaison between parents; Getting his side of the guest list finalized in a timely manner; Purchasing engagement ring and bride’s wedding band; Picking out the tuxedos and making sure all grooms men are fitted; Arranging the rehearsal dinner with your parents; Arranging the wedding day transportation; Booking the honeymoon.

Whatever responsibilities you chose, be honest with your bride, how involved do you want to be or do you have time to be? The answer to this question could make your life much easier. Keep in mind that unsportsmanlike conduct can get you benched or thrown out of the game. Try to be understanding and patient, your bride has probably been planning this day since she was very little. Let’s be honest it is more about her than it is about you.

TRAINING

How you handle this planning process will determine how you plan the rest of your life. It is good training, how do you handle stress together? Can you both stick to a budget? Sometimes you just have to take one for the team and sacrifice bunt to get that winning run. In other words can you compromise?

GAME DAY

So you have made it through training, you’ve played by the rules; you’ve worked as a team. Are you nervous? Aren’t all good ball players? Stay confident, play your best and have fun. That is the most important thing Have Fun; it’s all been worth it.